Frustrations of potty training a boy

Frustrated with potty training your son? I know the feeling. As a mom of three with two being boys, I do understand.

When my oldest turned two I decided to start working on potty training. He peed in the potty a few times and that was it. He wanted no more of the potty. So I waited. Then disaster struck. His dad and I separated, his sister went with their dad, I lost my job and then we had to move. On top of that a new baby would be arriving soon.

I tried countless times to work on potty training to no avail. He was nearing his fourth birthday and it didn't look like hope was anywhere near. I got tired of neighbor kids or his sister letting me know he had pooped in his pants. I was already changing diapers on a baby and changing his pull up was getting annoying and exhausting.

Believe it or not I was getting pressured to get him potty trained. It was obvious some people were on the edge of wanting to criticize me for not taking the time out to get him potty trained. Others were coming out and critcizing me as if I was a bad mom.

I was frustrated, pressured and at my wits end with potty training my son. I wanted him in Head Start Pre-K in the Fall 2006. They would not take him unless he was potty trained.

Then I met someone from my church who was a teacher for the 2 year olds at the church's daycare. In her class is when they would start potty training the kids so she gave me some advice on potty training Caleb. She could tell I was about to lose it with potty training him and wanted to help. I was willing to listen I just wasn't sure anything would work anymore.

I was told that I have to relax. That, I wasn't so sure about. I was pretty much a single mom raising three kids with one old enough to be in preschool and the other barely and infant. Here are the three things she told me to do:

1) Relax. Find other things to focus on for awhile besides potty training. If I am frustrated he is picking up on it and of course, will resist going.

2) Be consistent with potty training. Take him often, yourself. Don't wait to have him tell you he needs to go because by then it will be too late.

3) Praise him for his efforts. This means no matter what happens you put on a smile, hug your child and praise him for trying to go.

4) If he has an accident, have him help you clean it up. This can deter some boys from continuously having accidents. After the third or fourth time of having to clean themselves up it gets tiring. Thus, they'll try to make an effort to go potty instead.

5) Utilize things that bring comfort. Some children are just scared to go potty. It's an unknown to them, especially when trying to get them to go poop. For my son, I let him take his favorite stuffed animal with him to the potty. In this case, it was his large Blue's Clues.

Within ONE weekend I was able to get Caleb potty trained! I felt so good inside yet I had my doubts it would last. It did last and three years later at age 7, he is a very rambuncious active boy.

There are a few things I found out about Caleb shortly after he started Pre-K: He had some developmental delays. His speech was delayed as was his motor skills. He could barely hold a crayon or pencil because he had almost no muscle strength. Stressors in a child's life can affect them being potty trained. If you are going through a stressful situation, step back from potty training until you can get things under control or you will hit a brick wall with them. I had to find ways to relax and find time to prepare myself for potty training. When I felt good I worked with him and it worked.

Potty training is possible even when you have hit that brick wall. Take a step back, focus on the things that make you feel good while preparing yourself for potty training. Resume when you feel you are ready to dedicate a few days to it.

Bookmarkz