Arguing Children And Communication Skills

Arguing children

Many times as a day care teacher I am faced with children arguing over the same toy. They will scream, pull on the toy or sometimes one will bite. When this happens I first try to let the children work out their argument. Usually one child will just give up and walk away. However when neither child will give up I must help them work out the problem.

I usually have both children let go of the toy. Then I have each child tell me in his on words what the problem is. I will then ask the children what do they think should be done. In order to do this, I have one child tell the other one what they want. I will then have the second child respond by using his words. I also make sure each child listens to the other child when he is speaking. I then have him repeat what he heard. This lets me know if he is listening and understanding what is being said.

The conversation usually goes something like this between the children.

"I want that toy."
"I had it first."
"I want to play with it."
"When I’m finished."
"Okay."

This is a little exaggerated, but usually the children will work out the problem and end up playing either with the toy or playing with a different toy.

By having the children use words to settle an argument it helps them to develop communication skills as well as negotiating skills they can use later in life.

The next time your children start to fight have them use their words and also have them listen to each other to solve the problem before things get out of hand and someone gets hurt.

So parents when your child is arguing with you then put on your listening ears and hear what he has to say. Talk softly to him when you respond and you will find that he will listen and calm down. Repeat what he says to you and let him know you understand. You will then be able to calmly discuss the problem with your child and work out a solution.

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